Edge of the Empire - Under the Heel

Onderon Fights Back - Session 5

Delivering the Pain – Cont…

Onderon Fights Back - Session 4

Delivering the Pain

On the back of our marvelous display in rescuing Rictor’s mom – Melanah “The Minx” Ninx urged us to help them with their cause. I was reluctant at first, but had a sudden thought that my resume would look awesome with Freedom Fighter tagged to the bottom. It was a potential gold mine of opportunities and we could get filthy rich running supplies for the rebels. I put it to a team for a vote and we all agreed that playing rebel soldiers would work until something better came along.

Our first mission was to disrupt the Imperial Naval ships in close orbit and roving patrol of the Onderon system. The plan called for us attack the Onderon system space hub that doubled as planetary cargo hub for large freighters and a first security check to gain entry to the planet below. This would then cause the two

Onderon Fights Back - Session 3

A Daring Plan Finale

We were facing our most dangerous opponent to date. Inquisitor Ferus had entered the fray and threatened to swing the balance of the battle. One mistake and we would all surely perish.
Knowing that the group’s morale was waning, I spoke calm and concisely over the comms. “Kirex. I have an idea. I want you to get in the interrogation room and lock the door. That should slow his progress. Hold tight and we will be there ASAP. We have to deal with two jelly fish robots first though.”
“OK, but you better hurry up, those aren’t two purple vibrators that he’s holding.” Kirex replied curtly masking her fear with a display of humorous bravado . I could hear the others laughing down their open mics. That’s good I thought, they are still up for this.
Note: Kirex told me afterwards that they are called Imperial Probe Droids.

Ferus moved forwards and as he did it felt like we were being smothered by a blanket of dread. “OK, this is not good.” She called over the comms, her voice strained. We could hear the crackle and fizzle of light sabers in the background, as they cut through the door.
There was nothing we could do for her until we took care of the two jelly fish. Flip hip fired his two blasters and under an intense barrage he laid waste to one jelly fish, causing it to explode in a spray of sparks. He obviously enjoyed the moment, because we all heard him yell out in triumph, but that quickly turned to yelps of pain as the last jelly fish winged him with it’s blaster.
“Don’t get cocky Kid.” I shouted from my command position, crouched behind a pew in the audience chamber.
Brassa, (new nickname: Brazzers) moved to Flip and injected him in the shoulder with another stim pack. “OW, that stung!” complained Flip.
Rictor, sensing that we were gaining momentum, advanced and took a pot shot at the last jelly fish. He must’ve hit it right in the motivator, because it started making loud whining noises and smoke curled upwards from it’s damaged plating.
Rayl’Za (new nickname: Ray-Z) had reacted badly to the doom blanket served up by the Inquisitor and had dropped to the ground while he recovered. He girded himself, then leapt up and proceeded to cleave the jelly fish in two with his vibro-ax. What happened next was very funny. Very funny to everyone except Ray-Z of course. The jelly fish went and exploded. We waited, worrying about poor old Ray-Z, for the smoke to clear, but we needn’t have bothered. There he stood wafting the smoke from his face with one hand and tamping out the smoldering embers of his crisped fur with the other. Brazzers mentioned later that the whole area smelled like burned ass hair. When I asked later how he knew, he said it was a bottle rocket accident.
Note: We still haven’t stopped quietly making jokes about the incident behind Ray-Z’s back.

Finally, our attention could be directed towards helping get Kirex and Rictor’s mum away from Ferus.
I had a brain storm, I would try and divert his attention away from us. It involved explaining to him that Korin, the real Jedi warrior he was looking for was outside and he should go out and fight her, unless he was too scared to. So, I ran over the other side of the audience chamber, poked my head out and made my plea. He looked at me impassively and then dashed my hopes upon the rocks of despair when he said, “I know. She is being dealt with by my two assistants.” I was bummed, so I ran back to my hiding spot and started thinking of a way to motivate the others to deal with him.
Brazzers was trying to administer another stim shot to Ray-Z, but was having trouble finding an area that wasn’t still smoldering. He finally managed to find a spot and injected him. Ray-Z stiffened as the stim shot surged through him, his pain receding to a dull ache.
He let out a Wookiee battle cry and took off immediately and loped down the corridor that would ultimately lead to a showdown between him and Ferus. Wisely though he stopped thirty feet short. From this spot he watched and waited, ready to exploit any opening.
Brazzers jogged up behind him, but showed less patience. He paused just long enough to toss a plasma grenade at Ferus’ back, then he ducked behind a bulkhead. A dull thump and a wave of super-heated gases rustling Ray-Z’s ‘fro indicated a successful detonation.
Meanwhile, Rictor bounded across the audience chamber, skidding just short of the outer wall. He risked a sneak peek into the corridor and caught the tail end of the plasma grenade detonation. He stood transfixed as Ferus’ cloak burned furiously and droplets of liquid fire splashed on the floor. He looked naked in his shiny black suit of battle armor, slightly less shiny since his brush with the grenade. He never faltered though and the two glowing sabers kept cutting steadily through the door. Suddenly the one in his left hand, stuttered, and shorted out with a bright spark that made his arm convulse.
Rictor couldn’t help himself. He laughed. Actually, he laughed loudly, so loudly that he attracted the unwanted attention of Ferus, who snapped his head around to glare at him. A furious sneer spread across the visible lower portion of his face, his eyes and mouth being covered by a mask. “What’s so funny?” The question dripped with such menace that Rictor knew he was in deep shab. Hastily he tried to backpedal out of sight, but Ferus shot out a hand and roared. “COME HERE!”
As Captain Ackbar is my witness, Rictor was wrenched from the doorway and flew towards Ferus, who wheeled towards Rictor in a blur of motion, his saber leveled ominously with Rictor’s midriff. Rictor was effortlessly run through by Ferus’ remaining light saber. His shriek of agony would’ve curdle a tank full of bacta. Rictor hung there, his bulging eyes looking as if they were trying to escape his ruined body.
“Why so serious? Is it not funny anymore?” His sheer metamorphosed into a cruel smirk.
_Note: Full disclosure, I’d be lying if it didn’t say that the smell of Rictor’s charred flesh made me want a McRib sandwich. I mentioned it to flip and he agreed that could go for a pulled pork sandwich, but with the vinegar based BBQ sauce, not the sweet.stuff. I agreed that I preferred the savory sauce to the sweet sauce. Then he went on to tell me that the McRib is only a promotional item and may not be available. To which I replied that I knew that and that I didn’t say that I was going to get one, but just that I had a craving for one and that I was probably going to get the pulled pork as well. It was settled, we would get pulled pork sandwiches after we were done here.

As the horrific spectacle played out, Ray-Z was galvanized into action. He rushed forward and using the wall he leaped past the gloating Ferus. With his arm outstretched he grabbed Rictor’s collar and flung him back up the corridor. Ray-Z let his motion carry him so that he was between ferus and the ailing Rictor.
Rictor lay rigidly on the floor. Unblinking eyes affixed to a spot on the ceiling. His hands were clamped to his scorched belly.
Ferus’ smirk faltered. He bared his gritted teeth, furious that his fun had been interrupted. “I see your pet has finally grown a pair and decided to face me.” He hissed raising his hand, fingers splayed. “Heel boy!” He continued, his smirk returned. Ray-Z reeled as if an invisible wall slammed into him and flew twenty feet through the air, landing with a bone crunching oomph on top of Rictor.
That was the proverbial straw that broke Rictor’s back and he fortuitously lost consciousness. Ray-Z blinked his eyes, evidently trying to regain focus in them. Then there was an agonizing screech. The sound that steel makes when it is met by a superior force co-mingling with the high pitched whine of a jet-pack at maximum power. Kirex was freed of her self imposed cage. She had ingeniously merged technology and mysticism to blast her way through the damaged door. Her and mum were now standing in the entrance to the audience chamber. A mixture of fear and strain etched on her face. It was a toss up as to whether Rictor or his mum were in worst shape, but we were pausing to discuss it.
Ferus picked himself up turned and moved in a blur away from the scrum. Brazzers was still congratulating himself on his plasma grenade maneuver from earlier, when as if by magic Ferus was suddenly in front of him. His blood felt like it had be flash frozen as he saw his life flash by. It mostly consisted of drunken debauchery and midget porn, but it gave him an idea. He had been slowly self destructing for years, so now should be no different. He primed a grenade and rolled in between Ferus’ feet. I heard him shout “YIPPEE-KI-YAY MUTHAFARKER!”, then the blast sent a feedback howl causing the rest of us to wince. RIP Brazzers was my first thought. I had only known him for a short time, but he was an artist with hi-explosives, plus he wore a cape AND was pimp enough to pull it off.
Something was weighing on Brazzers, literally. He opened his eyes and came face to face with a slack mouthed Ferus lying on top of him. He was obviously still recovering from the blast’s concussion. Brazzers was either lucky or just that good, but Ferus had protected him fully from the blast. The only effects were a bruise from where Ferus had slammed into him and the scent memory of the Dark Jedi’s halitosis.
Rolling Ferus off him, he stumbled through the conference room and out the other exit. “Ferus is vulnerable, he is still farked from that last grenade.” Brazzers called out through the comms.
I shouted encouragement to everyone. “Now’s our chance. Hit him with all you’ve got. Winner gets a chicken dinner.”
Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth Ray-Z, Kirex and Flip moved into attack positions and poured it on. Ray-Z put all his effort into an almighty swing of his vibro-ax. Ferus who was upright once more managed to get his remaining light saber up an deflected the blow from center mass to a glancing blow. The impact was still enough to make his knees buckle.
Kirex aimed and carefully squeezed off a shot sending a blaster bolt into his chest. This time he sank to the ground. “He’s down.” Shouted Kirex gleefully. “I claim me a free din— no way!”
“How many lives does this FARKER have?” Shouted Flip. Ferus was rising from the floor again. His fist was pounding into his chest like he was egging us on. “Can he even die?” Flip said more subdued, fear bleeding into his tone. He stitched a burst of fire form his twin blasters at Ferus’ head, but Ferus shifted his weight and the lethal volley singed his helmet as it whizzed by.

Time slowed as Ray-Z, Kirex, Flip and the glowering Ferus, his face set in a rictus of hatred, faced off. We had thrown everything at him, but he was still standing. His saber back-lit the scene in a wash of violet. Ferus was the first to break the spell and he staggered to his left and through the now open door to the command center. The door whisked shut behind him and locked again.
“He’s gone.” Said Kirex in a defeated tone.
“You killed him?” I inquired excitedly.
“No the fraggers that we forgot about in the command room saved his sheb.”
“Let’s get outta here.” I shouted. “Flip, call the ship down.”
ETA, two minutes.” He replied.
We picked up the slumbering mother son pair and made our way to the hole that had been made when the rebels took out the turbo laser. The ship was waiting and we clambered onto it.
“Where’s Kirex?” I asked.
“Right here.” She answered as she appeared at the hole. “The fragger dropped his broken light saber.” She held her trophy aloft. “Now it’s mine.”
“Just get aboard.” I said, a little more annoyed than I had a right to be. We had just entered the belly of the beast and we had won. I changed my tone. “You guys were rock-stars back there. You deserve that saber Kirex. You got your hands on the package and together we succeeded. A great team effort guys.”
The strange this was that I meant every word of it. We were finally a team. Now we would heal as a team, Rictor and Ray-Z needed some of Doc. Demo’s T.L.C.

Onderon Fights Back - Session 2
Brown Trouser Moment

A Daring Plan Cont…

We were starting to feel like our harebrained plan was going to work.
I should have known better. There is an old Bothan saying that goes something like, “If you feel like everything is going your way, then you are probably being fattened for the slaughterhouse”, well that certainly was the way it went for us.
We had beaten back the attacks, but didn’t realize that it was only the first wave. Rictor had opened the nearby jail cells and a couple of beaten down rebels cautiously exited. I shouted to them to pick up a couple of blasters from the dozens that littered the floor.
“You two are on rearguard, make sure you stop all threats from the back of us.” I called to them. They nodded assent.
The next order of business was to keep pushing forward. Rictor had shouted a warning that the base hackers were trying to override the lockouts, and power outages that he had wreaked on them. It was only a matter of time before we we overrun by simp squaddies.
As we were quickly coordinating our next moves, the blast door behind the armory opened and more simp Stormtroopers, accompanied by a Royal Guard charged out.
They pretty much insta-wiped the two rebels handling the rear guard. I never cared enough to ask them their names, well, at least they died with a blaster in their hands and protected our shebs.
That ended the planning session and all of us, except Ray, started legging it down the corridor, hopefully towards Rictor’s old dear.
Ray planted a thermal detonator in the power room and then joined us in . Once past the blast doors, Rictor set about closing them, to protect us from the blast and secondary explosions from the ships ordnance armory that was adjacent to the power room.
The resulting firework display was no doubt fantastic, if viewed from afar, but let me tell you, from ground zero, it took all my self control to not crap myself.

Note to self: Do not let anyone blow up a building, if you’re still in the bloody building.

I was still clearing my head and counting my teeth, from the concussive effect of the explosion. Ray and Kirex though, had the bit between their teeth and were pushing forward. They ran into a simp ambush, it was only a couple of squads, so no problem, right?
Suddenly, I hear a blood curdling howl of Wookie rage, a lot of terrified screaming, and then an eerie silence settle over the base for what seemed like minutes. In reality it was only a few seconds, but it was a welcome respite, however long it was.
There was still a couple of simp droids to take care of, but then news came to me that Kirex had rescued Rictor’s mum. She shot an interrogator in the face at point blank range, so, yeah well that was terrifying, but she had her hands on the package, eh — Rictor’s mum.

So, we were good, right?
The fact that the end credits weren’t rolling was causing me some consternation.
Then Kirex shouted over the radio that she was feeling a huge wave of dread slamming into her.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do with that information, but I steeled myself to crap my pants for real this time.
I heard a muted squeal from Kirex’s comms, followed by an urgent whisper. “I think that the ”/characters/inquisitor-ferus" class=“wiki-content-link”>Dark Jedi has showed up!"
That would explain the dread she felt. “”/wikis/how-to-curse-in-the-star-wars-universe" class=“wiki-page-link”> Shab, really?" I reply.
“Well this really scary looking dude landed on the walkway ahead of me, he leaped up from several levels below.”
“Are you sure it is him.”
“I haven’t done a DNA check on him yet, but YES, I am pretty crinking sure that it is he.”
“Has he seen you yet?”
“Not yet— no wait, scratch that. Shab, he just looked at me.”
The Dark Jedi coolly surveyed his surroundings, then looked directly at Kirex. His two scary purple colored lightsabers blazed into life and he uttered. “You’re not the one I’m looking for.”
The menace of each word stabbed at Kirex’s core and I could hear her hyperventilating over the comms. “He i-is l-looking for Korin.” She stammered.
“Tell him that she’s outside.” i shout down my mic at her, then hastily add. “And give him a description of what she looks.”

To be continued…

Onderon Fights Back - Session 1
Mommy Issues!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

Onderon Episode 3

A Daring Plan

With the help of Ly’leth and her Beast Riders, the crew has intercepted an Imperial shuttle bearing prisoners to Imperial Forward Base B-105.

With shuttle and disguises they gain swift entry to the base. An officer and guard escort them to the detention block, the ambush is sprung and Nicto Brassa, Rictors childhood friend and last remaining member of Melanah’s Crazy Eight’s is freed.

Melanah is missing! The group quickly rearms itself from the nearby armory while Rictor hacks a terminal to obtain the location of his mother. The download trips a built in protection mechanism and intersystem access is cut! Even worse for the crew, it has triggered a blaring alarm. How long before the entire base is on top of them?

So, here we are again. Rictor has gone and gotten us into another fine mess. Luckily for him, he ships with the Ander’s Gang and Flip and me, well we’re experts in turning a frown upside down.

Here’s the situation:
We get ourselves into the base and break a rebel out from the detention block. This bloke looks completely barmy. He has a gleam in his eye like a mad bomber and the scars on his hands and boat to match.
Well, it turns out that the geezer that we sprung is a mate of Rictor and his mom. The geezer, Nicto, was part of her group and was with her when she was picked up by the simps.
We take him with us and whaddya know, they went and put an armory right next to the prisoner cells. Can you believe that the stoopa simps went and put guns and bombs next to the cells. It was probably to make it convenient for any escapees to arm themselves to the teeth during their jail break.

The outwardly violent members of the team are treating the armory, as if it is a shopping trip to Santa’s grotto. Meanwhile, whilst trying to hack the computers to look for his mom, Rictor trips an alarm and alerts the entire base to our presence. Luckily he manages to download the base schematics, just before being locked out, this at least gives us an idea of where his mother may be.

Within a minute or so, the simps are on us like flies round a Bantha’s shebhole. I run into the corridor and tell them that I have them trapped in the armory and I need a squad to move up. This alerts us to another squad that was hidden from view.

The new guy tosses a smoke grenade down the corridor to obscure the enemies vision. Then the simp squaddies move forward and start shooting, but these aren’t the normal useless Storm Troopers, they are even more useless Tie pilots. LOL. They provide an entertaining light show before Rayl’za and Kirex rip through them like Ex-Lax.

We are now fully on the move, the Tie pilots are fighting gallantly, losing, but doing it gallantly. I call in to Korin to let her know the operation has gone tits up. She says her and the Beastie Boys are beginning Operation Stalag Luft, to get us a way out.

A quick look at the map on the data pad has us going up a floor, so we pile into the turbo lift and Rayl’za pushes the button. Kirex uses her mumbo jumbo to tell us that there are a whole passel of guards waiting for us when the door opens. The others grit their teeth, while I crouch in a … well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a fetal position, it was more like a fetal crouch.

As we expected, there were some guys waiting to use the elevator, they seemed put out that we were using it and tried clearing it by filling it with blaster fire. Obviously we sent a couple of well aimed grenades at them, as a way of showing our displeasure, thinning their ranks considerably in the process. At this point I have to admit that I lost track of what was going on, on account of me still being in a ball, eh, battle crouch at the back of the elevator.

The others filled me in on what went on and the amount of times that they each mentioned the word heroic, when describing their actions, led me to believe that they were exaggerating a smidgen. The FNG, Nicto told me about a plasma grenade and while I did see the molten pool of men and heavy repeating blaster, or HRB, on the ground, I also saw the scorch marks on the crates of Tie Bomber munitions. I’ll have to watch that one. he likes the boom boom too much, yes I mean it both ways.

I eventually left the lift, only when there was a definite lull in the fight – for sure. Rictor and I headed into the power room. I shouted at him to hack into the computer and shut down the power to the elevators. He mentioned something about security and how it would take him a few minutes. I told him that if he wasn’t a cyber-warrior, then he could always be a straight up warrior. He took one look at the blaster burns on Rayl’za and Kirex and went back to pounding the keyboard, muttering to himself about how he was self-taught and a mental giant.

The Simps were counter-attacking now and we were holding them at bay, just.
Rictor shouted at the top of his lungs, I could barely hear him over the din of the battle. It sounded something like, “All your base are belong to us!”, I guess that meant he was in the system.
SHUT DOWN THE CRINKING ELEVATORS!” I shouted down the comms.

“Done.” he called back. “What’s next?”

At this point I feel the heat of a mass of blaster bolts passing behind me. “What the Kark was that?” I call over the comms. I hear Kirex howl with agony and fury in response, “they have another HRB set up in the gangway and it just lit me up!”

“Get behind cover and fark it up then.”

At this point there’s a deep rumbling sound, then whole base shudders, so I know it wasn’t just me soiling myself. Either Korin’s gang is somehow bombing the base, or more likely the simps have just mobilized their AT-AT to face down her crew.

In the time it has taken me to realize that I have not yet soiled myself, Flip has somehow taken ownership of the second gunnery crew’s HRB. Not only does he have it, but he somehow carried it all the way back down the hall and was lighting them up along with the squad of simps behind them! Things were finally falling into place…

Onderon Session 2.5

The in between stuff

Roughly two weeks pass between when we last left off and when we pick up again. In that time you’ve assisted Korin Vellasi and her Rebels in taking over the Imperial Spy Facility you raided in Session 2 and making it “home”. As it turns out Korin was after the facility as it is a secret from most of the Imperial forces on Onderon at this point and it’s communication equipment is explicitly set up to spy on Imperial communications, already having their current encryption keys. Moff Durando’s mistake has most certainly been your boon.

Korin was surprised to meet another individual gifted in the Force. Kirex was likewise surprised to find a mentor to teach her about her inborn abilities that have had her on the move and running from the Empire for the past several years. Many hours are spent between them discussing the Jedi ways of old, their code and more importantly learning about the Balance of the Force and beginning to harness the true potential of Kirex’s abilities. The fact that their innate talents are so similar gives them much common ground to work from and Kirex proves a quick study.

In the meantime Korin’s Rebels and any interested crew members keep an ear on Imperial communications. It is quickly intuited from coded communications that Rictor’s mother Melanah and the surviving members of her cell, The Crazy Eights, were being held at Imperial Forward Base B-105. This is the home ground of the Imperial Armies 105th Battalion. Surrounded by a web of garrisons in the surrounding jungles and mountain range, it itself is built into a large mountain spire abutting the jungle. Imperial Forward Base B-105 is one of the outlying bases of the main Imperial Ordinance Center Jyreene Base.

How to get into an Imperial Base housing potentially hundreds of Imperial Troops at any given time was a daunting question. Luckily a communication was recently intercepted indicating a scheduled transfer of Imperial prisoners from a garrison in Iziz to Forward Base B-105’s for detention and interrogation. The Imperial Shuttle transporting them would make a much easier target and provide a perfect opportunity to obtain disguises and a open door into Forward Base B-105.

NOTE: If anyone would like to add what your characters are up to in the two weeks just let me know.

Onderon Session 2
Seeing New Places and Making New Friends

Jungle Boogey


Our intelligence gathering exercise bore fruit, but unfortunately it looked like we were headed outside the city, into the wilds of the jungle. I was not happy. Humidity wreaks havoc with my coif.

We got clearance to leave the city, thanks to Kirex’s bounty hunter license, but had to rent a suitable vehicle for the spaz of the group, namely yours truly.

Leaving the city, we head South towards the volcano, the heat and humidity is BEE-RUTAL and my hair is in a right 2 & 8 by the time Rictor picks up a signal we can track.

Following the signal we finally end up in the middle of nowhere. What is interesting though is that there was also a very competently camouflaged antenna present. The antenna’s cables were buried deep beneath the jungle floor. Hmm, secret antenna and buried cables; you could say that our interest had been piqued. We followed the cables to what was sure to be a pot of gold.

Arriving, at what could only be described as, the evil villain’s secret lair. The thing screamed black site. We couldn’t wait to roll up our sleeves and crink up all sorts of shab. With visions of mountains of weapon’s, tech and information that I could parlay into cash dancing through our heads we approached the base. Unfortunately right then I had more pressing matters on my mind; the dodgy kebab I had the earlier was rearing it’s ugly head and trying to make a break for it. I stepped off behind a tree, with Kirex keeping guard, to release the hounds. That wasn’t so much the unfortunate part I was referring to. The unfortunate part was that the rest of them: Flip, Rictor and Ray had decided to try and gain entry to the base and I wasn’t there to tell them how not to do it.

Well, before they can get into too much trouble, a simp armored walker came strutting down the trail, looking like a plucked chicken, heading back to base from its patrol. Everyone scatters for cover; except me of course. I’m still redecorating the jungle floor with my liquefied insides, but lucky for me I chose a spot that was out of sight of the trail.

Seeing the opportunity, Flip, Rictor and Ray sprint in behind the walker as it enters through the blast doors and take out the two pilots after they exit the vehicle.

Kirex and I return to find two unconscious naked pilots and two simp uniforms to use as disguises.
We decided that Rictor and I would enter the base to find out any information on the whereabouts of his old dear. Carefully we made our way through the secret base until we found our way into the mechanical room. There were two simp techs working on an electrical panel and the noise of the generators drowned out all other noise. Rictor got to work breaking into the base computer system by hacking a nearby terminal. I kept watch over the door and the simp grease monkeys.

Meanwhile back in the hangar, the others were taking an inventory of the vehicles and stores. They decided that they would be more effective if they were in the walkers, so Ray and Kirex got in one and Flip got in the other. They trained the walkers’ weaponry at the two internal entrances to the hangar and waited. Later Kirex complained to me that Ray kept doing really bad smelling dog farts. I guess we need to start feeding him different food.

Rictor was quickly slicing his way through the simp engineering system and was uploading all sorts of command & control processes to his datapad, when I noticed that one of the techs looked over at us. I call him over and getting the drop on him i manage to stun him with my blaster. Not to shabby for the gimp of the group. I stuff him in a locker and take out the other tech in similar fashion (full disclosure: he may have had his back to me and been caught totally unawares, but I was still feeling like a bad-ass and tear sheb up).

Rictor reports that he can’t find the location from this terminal, as it is a closed engineering system. It seems that the base’s systems are air-gapped from each other for security purposes.
We needed to find another terminal. We had a map of the place thanks to Rictor’s efforts, so feeling brave, we headed to the communications center. If there was any comms traffic, then that is where we would find it. As we were on our way there Rictor wrestles control of the base from the simps, so that only he had access. First thing he does is lock all the base’s doors, thus trapping all the simps in their current locations.

We arrive at the comms room and coming up blank on the ideas front, we decide that we’re going to try and BS our way through it. Rictor is insistant that I ask about his old dear, but I kept telling him that she is probably not here and asking directly would be a bad idea. He insists though and that was my first mistake, listening to a grease monkey tell me how to banthashab someone.

We open the door and I start in with the BS. I manage to get the simps to answer the questions, but Rictor keeps nudging me and fidgeting because I haven’t asked about his old dear yet. I know it was a bad idea, but I finally ask if a prisoner was brought in. That is when things went South. The end result was that I had to force the simp comms jockeys to drop their weapons and Rictor got to work combing the messaging databases for news of his old dear.

Back in the hangar, Flip shoots the antenna cables and the base goes berserk. The doors are still locked down, but a couple of squads head to the hangar to check out the comms breakdown. The gang in the hangar get ready for their moment. They charge all weapons and train them at the base’s interior blast doors.

The squaddies started blasting through the door with their heavy weapon and eventually the door was breached. Kirex opened up firing at the squaddies with a concussion missile taking out 2 of them. The simps fired their heavy laser gun at the walker that Kirex and Ray were in causing some damage and giving them a scare. More concussion missiles followed from Ray and Flip, decimating the rest of squad. The fight was pretty one sided from there on.

As we were getting ready to do a runner, Rictor literally ran into a bird, who was accompanied by a platoon of DDRs. Cannily, I guessed that she was the Jedi that we had the bounty notice on. It had nothing to do with the lightsaber in her hand.
Anyway, they had been planning to assault the base, but over-planning is as bad as indecision and they had missed all the fun. The least they could do is mop up the rest of the simp resistance and then they took over the base. Once it was safe, we ran around calling dibs and licking stuff that we wanted, so the DDRs wouldn’t take it all for themselves.

Upon further review of the base’s data, it showed that we had stumbled onto a top secret base that was being used to spy on the other simp bases. It was being run by a Moth Durando.

The stupid DDRs wanted to keep on using the base, but having gotten what we had come for we were going to do a runner at first light.

We started loading up looted equipment, if it wasn’t nailed down, then we nicked it, then got some chow (I avoided the burritos) and started making plans to rescue Rictor’s old dear. The Jedi, Koren offered to help. We warned her that there was an simp Inquisitor on world that was hunting for her, but she didn’t seem fazed. I tried in vane to get a blow job off the DDR squaddies, but none of the blokes would oblige and I wasn’t going to risk it with the DDR females, as they were all right old boilers.
I hope that Rictor’s mum has, at the very least, a purtty mouth.

Onderon Session 1
Arrival on Onderon

Resistance Is Futile, But It Can Be Lucrative

Exp Awarded = 20

I welcomed the news that Reom and Shira had another job for us. It was a full time job to keep the crew of the Wayfarer NC-17 focused when the Iso-One has so many opportunities for them to get into trouble and just generally crink up.

After a quick briefing, we set out towards a system that was new to all, but one of us. We were venturing into the Inner Rim’s system of Onderon with a cargo of weapons, food and medical supplies for some Double Dumb-ass Rebels or ‘DDR’ as I liked to call them. Putting aside the politics of it all, the Empire was just plain good for business. The tighter they squeezed the more of these DDR groups that sprung up. They all had one thing in common, they need shab and who better to shab all over them, than us.

The flight there was uneventful, but that chuba Rictor dropped us out of jump in the middle of a crinking dog fight. Sometimes I think that stoopa is trying to get us killed or worse arrested by the Imperials or as I call them ‘the sImps’.

Anyway, Flip yells from the bridge that we got a freighter with a couple of escorts heading at us with half the system’s fleet on its tail. Crink ’em I think, but then we get a call from the crinking sImps. They only want us to intercept the freighter or share its fate. We quickly formulate a plan to pretend to shoot the freighter, but let it get away. The escort though is fair game and what better way to start off a new endeavor than shooting down some DDR ships. Tally-Ho!

After geeking the X-Wing the vaping sImps want to board us for an inspection. Luckily the shebhole they send over is bent and 500 creds later we are on our way again. Proceeding to the planet we airdrop the DDRs gear to them like good boys and girls, then its on to the starport to make some creds on the legit cargo we’re also carrying.

Shira gave me name of a bent landing bay owner called Vory to see when we touched down, so we shifted the gear sharpish to these fellas; meanwhile Kirex and Ray follow up on a 50 grand bounty that would be a nice little earner if we can find it.

Rictor and his uncle go visit their respective families and both come up short of the homecoming that they were expecting. Rictor calls us up and whines that his old dear and old man are gone and it looks like someone slept in his bed and ate his porridge. When we arrive we deduce that the house was raided and scoured from top to bottom by what can only be the sImps. Flip’s beady little mincer’s spot a hidden cache that gives up a long range communicator. We decide it’s time to vacate the property in case the sImps show back up. As we’re leaving Rictor’s old gaff the team notice a girl that’s spying on us. Rictor recognizes her as his younger sister; Ray and Kirex take off after her while the rest jump into the hover taxi waiting for us. The girl leaps off the top of a 150 foot retaining wall; she catches hold of her drone and starts descending. Ray being Ray, grabs hold of some vines on the retaining wall an uses them to swing to the bottom of the wall. Kirex meanwhile fires up her jump pack; flying off the ledge she makes a beeline for the bird; grabbing the girl she heads downwards and delivers her to Ray at the foot of the wall. Our over zealous cabby takes a shortcut and drops the hovercab down the wall to join the others. I barely manage to keep my take out down.

We notice a ragtag group of kids come running from an abandoned warehouse armed with a mixture of improvised and homemade weapons. I order the cabby to run them over, but he decides to stop in front of them and he guns the motors creating a massive dust cloud that disorients the hell bent high schoolers.
I quickly calm down the situation just as an sImp shuttle delivers squaddies to Rictor’s old gaff. We decide that discretion is the better part of valor and scarper for the warehouses. Once at their “FOB”, the young’uns bring us up to speed with the happenings of the DDRs or mishappenings to be more accurate. It looks like there was a big blowup in the jungle that went badly for the DDRs and Rictor’s old dear got scooped up by the sImps. We also find out that his old man is working for the sImps in some capacity. His family puts the capital D in dysfunctional.

We left off with the saucepans being responsible for getting some intel on the whereabouts of Rictor’s old dear and we were going to work the angles on our end. Rictor stayed with the saucepans to make sure they stayed out of trouble.


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