Gift of the Gab

Tradespeak and doubletalk

A

A La Mode – Code (“This transmission may be compromised, so we’ll have to natter in al a mode.”)
Air-Gapped – A computer system that is not networked to any other system for security purposes
Apples and Pears – Stairs
Arcturian Poontang – Sex With a Race of Hermaphrodite Aliens called Arcturians (“Hey, I sure wouldn’t mind getting some more of that Arcturian poontang, remember that time?” “Yeah, Frost, but the one that you had was male.” “It doesn’t matter when it’s Arcturian, baby.”)
As Bent As A Nine Bob Note – This is a phrase meaning that the thing referred to is not kosher or dodgy.

B

Barmy – Not all there in the head, has a screw loose, lunatic, etc.
Bent – Crooked or Partakes in Illegal Activities
Bin Lids – Kids or Children
Bird – A Person That Is Female Or Female Looking
Bird Bath – Laugh (As in joking or kidding around) (“If you think I’m giving you full price for that, then your having a bath.”)
Bloke – A Person That Is Male
Blower – Communicator (Rictor called me on the blower to let me know he was on his way)
Blowup – Fight or Argument
Boat or Boat Race – Face
Boba Fett – Wet
Bog – Toilet
Boy Butter – A Sexually Provocative Term for a Humanoid Named Michael Pankenier From the Planet Earth When He Worked At Cendant Mobility
Brass Flute – Prostitute
Brown Bread – Dead
Bug Hunt – A Mission That Involves A Xenomorph
Butcher’s Hook – Look or Search (“Hey Flip, have a butchers around the office for any swag.”)

C

Cakehole – Mouth
Chandelier – Queer or Odd (“That guy over there is a bit chandelier.”)
Chicken Dinner – Winner
China Plate – Mate or Friend
Clothes Pegs – Legs
Comms – Short For Communication
Copped – To Be Spotted Or Caught Doing Something Illegal or Dodgy
Cuppa – Hot Drink That Comforts Its Drinker

D

Dicky or Dicky Bird – Word (“Honest, I haven’t heard a dicky about it.”)
Dodgy – Something That Is Not Good or Cannot Be Trusted (“That bloke looks a bit dodgy to me.” or “That dodgy kebab I ate last night has made me tom dick.”)
Dog & Bone – Phone or Communicator (“Gimme a call on the dog later, awright?”)
Dosh – Money
Double Dumbass Rebels (DDR) – Derogatory Term For Insurgent Forces or Freedom Fighters
Draagax Ears – Years (“Hey there buddy, I haven’t seen you in a Draagax’s!”)
Duckin’ & Divin’ – Evading Capture or Behaving in a Conniving Manner

E

Earner – A Chance To Make A Profit
Earwig – Eavesdrop
Egg & Spoon – Coon (Slur against dark skinned humanoids) (“This gaff is full of spoons. It makes me wish I brought me pillow case with the holes cut in it.”)

F

FOB – Forward Operating Base
Frog & Toad – Road

G

Gaf – Place of Residence or Building (“Hey darling, how about coming back to my gaf for a bit of the old How’s Your Father?”)
Geek – To Geek Something Is To Kill Or Destroy It (“Geek that heavy weapons platform for crinks sake, before it geeks the lot of us!”
Ginger Beer – Queer (Derogatory Term for a Poof or Homosexual) (“Look at that ginger over there.”)
Gob – Mouth
Grand – Multiples of One Thousand (50 Grand is 50,000)

H

Half Inch – Pinch or Steal
Hit & Miss – To Urinate
How’s Your Father? – Lather or Heightened Sexual State

I

Iron Hoof – Derogatory Term for a Poof or Homosexual

J

Jabba the Hutt – Shut or Closed (“We went to the cantina, but it was Jabba the Hutt.”)
Jack Clones – Alone (“I always end up on me Jack at the end of a night out.”)
Jedi Knight – Shite or To Defecate (“I’ve gotta go for a jedi; its turtle heading!”)

K

Kip – Sleep or Nap
Kisses & Hugs – Illegal Narcotics
Klick – One Kilometer

L

Leg It or Legged It – Run or Ran Away From Trouble
Lemon & Lime – Crime
Light In The Loafers – Derogatory Term for a Homosexual
Loaf of Bread – Head or Brains (“top and use your loaf for once, you stoopa.”)

M

Mincers or Mince Pies – Eyes (“Things are gonna go down fast in there, so keep your mincers peeled for any signs of trouble.”)
Minge – A Females Reproductive Organs
Motor – Vehicle or Engine

N

Natter – Chat
Nick or Nicked – Steal or Stole
Nick or Nicked – Arrest or Arrested
Nifty – Awesome or Fantastic
Nonce – Acting Like an Emotional PMS’ing Female
Noob – Derogatory Term for Someone With Little Experience

O

Obi Wan Kenobi – Small Mobile Communicator
Old Dear – Mother
Old Man – Father

P

Plates of Meat – Feet
Peeled – Clear or Free from Restriction (Usually used when referring to keeping one’s eyes open to spot trouble or something important)
Poof – Derogatory Term for a Homosexual
Porkies or Porky Pies – Lies
Punter – Customer or Victim of Conniving Behavior

Q

Queen of Sheba – Someone with an Inflated Opinion of Their Status (“Who do you think you are, the crinking queen of sheba?”)

R

Reddies – Cash or Money
Right – Really Bad or Very Bad (“My bird was in a right mood last night.”)

S

Saucepan Lid – Kid or Child
Scarper – Run Very Fast
Shifty – Untrustworthy
Shirt Lifter – Derogatory Term for a Homosexual
sImp – Member of Imperial Empire’s Armed Forces or Governing Agencies
Sitrep – Situation Report
Spaz – Not Having The Requisite Abilities Or Skillz To Complete An Activity Successfully
Squaddies – A Squad of Troopers
Strop – Bad Mood or Attitude
Swag – Valuables
Syrup or Syrup of Figs – Wig (Artificial head covering that is supposed to look like real hair, but usually only attracts the eye and reinforces to everyone that you are bald)

T

Tea Leaf – Thief
Tea Leafing – Thieving
Tex Ritter – Shitter or Toilet
Togs – Clothing
Tom & Dick or Tom Dick – Sick or Unwell (“I am feeling a little Tom Dick this morning)
Town Crier – Liar
Trouble and Strife – Wife
Turtle Heading – Urgently Need To Defecate (The excrement is poking out of your rectum like a turtle’s head peeking out of its shell)
Two & Eight – State or Bad Condition (”I crashed my speeder and now it’s in a right 2 & 8.")

U

Uphill Gardner – Derogatory Term for a Homosexual

V

Vajayjay – Woman’s Reproductive Organs

W

Whistle & Flute – Suit of Clothing (When attending an important meeting it’s always best to wear your best whistle)

X

Xeno – Off Worlder or Foreigner
Xenomorph – Alien of Unknown Origin and Abilities (Usually very nasty critter with sharp teeth, acid for blood and is always in a right strop)

Y

Young’uns – Derogatory Term for Someone With Little Experience

Z

Zonked Out – Spaced or Passed Out

Gift of the Gab

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