Edge of the Empire - Under the Heel

Onderon Session 2
Seeing New Places and Making New Friends

Jungle Boogey


Our intelligence gathering exercise bore fruit, but unfortunately it looked like we were headed outside the city, into the wilds of the jungle. I was not happy. Humidity wreaks havoc with my coif.

We got clearance to leave the city, thanks to Kirex’s bounty hunter license, but had to rent a suitable vehicle for the spaz of the group, namely yours truly.

Leaving the city, we head South towards the volcano, the heat and humidity is BEE-RUTAL and my hair is in a right 2 & 8 by the time Rictor picks up a signal we can track.

Following the signal we finally end up in the middle of nowhere. What is interesting though is that there was also a very competently camouflaged antenna present. The antenna’s cables were buried deep beneath the jungle floor. Hmm, secret antenna and buried cables; you could say that our interest had been piqued. We followed the cables to what was sure to be a pot of gold.

Arriving, at what could only be described as, the evil villain’s secret lair. The thing screamed black site. We couldn’t wait to roll up our sleeves and crink up all sorts of shab. With visions of mountains of weapon’s, tech and information that I could parlay into cash dancing through our heads we approached the base. Unfortunately right then I had more pressing matters on my mind; the dodgy kebab I had the earlier was rearing it’s ugly head and trying to make a break for it. I stepped off behind a tree, with Kirex keeping guard, to release the hounds. That wasn’t so much the unfortunate part I was referring to. The unfortunate part was that the rest of them: Flip, Rictor and Ray had decided to try and gain entry to the base and I wasn’t there to tell them how not to do it.

Well, before they can get into too much trouble, a simp armored walker came strutting down the trail, looking like a plucked chicken, heading back to base from its patrol. Everyone scatters for cover; except me of course. I’m still redecorating the jungle floor with my liquefied insides, but lucky for me I chose a spot that was out of sight of the trail.

Seeing the opportunity, Flip, Rictor and Ray sprint in behind the walker as it enters through the blast doors and take out the two pilots after they exit the vehicle.

Kirex and I return to find two unconscious naked pilots and two simp uniforms to use as disguises.
We decided that Rictor and I would enter the base to find out any information on the whereabouts of his old dear. Carefully we made our way through the secret base until we found our way into the mechanical room. There were two simp techs working on an electrical panel and the noise of the generators drowned out all other noise. Rictor got to work breaking into the base computer system by hacking a nearby terminal. I kept watch over the door and the simp grease monkeys.

Meanwhile back in the hangar, the others were taking an inventory of the vehicles and stores. They decided that they would be more effective if they were in the walkers, so Ray and Kirex got in one and Flip got in the other. They trained the walkers’ weaponry at the two internal entrances to the hangar and waited. Later Kirex complained to me that Ray kept doing really bad smelling dog farts. I guess we need to start feeding him different food.

Rictor was quickly slicing his way through the simp engineering system and was uploading all sorts of command & control processes to his datapad, when I noticed that one of the techs looked over at us. I call him over and getting the drop on him i manage to stun him with my blaster. Not to shabby for the gimp of the group. I stuff him in a locker and take out the other tech in similar fashion (full disclosure: he may have had his back to me and been caught totally unawares, but I was still feeling like a bad-ass and tear sheb up).

Rictor reports that he can’t find the location from this terminal, as it is a closed engineering system. It seems that the base’s systems are air-gapped from each other for security purposes.
We needed to find another terminal. We had a map of the place thanks to Rictor’s efforts, so feeling brave, we headed to the communications center. If there was any comms traffic, then that is where we would find it. As we were on our way there Rictor wrestles control of the base from the simps, so that only he had access. First thing he does is lock all the base’s doors, thus trapping all the simps in their current locations.

We arrive at the comms room and coming up blank on the ideas front, we decide that we’re going to try and BS our way through it. Rictor is insistant that I ask about his old dear, but I kept telling him that she is probably not here and asking directly would be a bad idea. He insists though and that was my first mistake, listening to a grease monkey tell me how to banthashab someone.

We open the door and I start in with the BS. I manage to get the simps to answer the questions, but Rictor keeps nudging me and fidgeting because I haven’t asked about his old dear yet. I know it was a bad idea, but I finally ask if a prisoner was brought in. That is when things went South. The end result was that I had to force the simp comms jockeys to drop their weapons and Rictor got to work combing the messaging databases for news of his old dear.

Back in the hangar, Flip shoots the antenna cables and the base goes berserk. The doors are still locked down, but a couple of squads head to the hangar to check out the comms breakdown. The gang in the hangar get ready for their moment. They charge all weapons and train them at the base’s interior blast doors.

The squaddies started blasting through the door with their heavy weapon and eventually the door was breached. Kirex opened up firing at the squaddies with a concussion missile taking out 2 of them. The simps fired their heavy laser gun at the walker that Kirex and Ray were in causing some damage and giving them a scare. More concussion missiles followed from Ray and Flip, decimating the rest of squad. The fight was pretty one sided from there on.

As we were getting ready to do a runner, Rictor literally ran into a bird, who was accompanied by a platoon of DDRs. Cannily, I guessed that she was the Jedi that we had the bounty notice on. It had nothing to do with the lightsaber in her hand.
Anyway, they had been planning to assault the base, but over-planning is as bad as indecision and they had missed all the fun. The least they could do is mop up the rest of the simp resistance and then they took over the base. Once it was safe, we ran around calling dibs and licking stuff that we wanted, so the DDRs wouldn’t take it all for themselves.

Upon further review of the base’s data, it showed that we had stumbled onto a top secret base that was being used to spy on the other simp bases. It was being run by a Moth Durando.

The stupid DDRs wanted to keep on using the base, but having gotten what we had come for we were going to do a runner at first light.

We started loading up looted equipment, if it wasn’t nailed down, then we nicked it, then got some chow (I avoided the burritos) and started making plans to rescue Rictor’s old dear. The Jedi, Koren offered to help. We warned her that there was an simp Inquisitor on world that was hunting for her, but she didn’t seem fazed. I tried in vane to get a blow job off the DDR squaddies, but none of the blokes would oblige and I wasn’t going to risk it with the DDR females, as they were all right old boilers.
I hope that Rictor’s mum has, at the very least, a purtty mouth.

Onderon Session 1
Arrival on Onderon

Resistance Is Futile, But It Can Be Lucrative

Exp Awarded = 20

I welcomed the news that Reom and Shira had another job for us. It was a full time job to keep the crew of the Wayfarer NC-17 focused when the Iso-One has so many opportunities for them to get into trouble and just generally crink up.

After a quick briefing, we set out towards a system that was new to all, but one of us. We were venturing into the Inner Rim’s system of Onderon with a cargo of weapons, food and medical supplies for some Double Dumb-ass Rebels or ‘DDR’ as I liked to call them. Putting aside the politics of it all, the Empire was just plain good for business. The tighter they squeezed the more of these DDR groups that sprung up. They all had one thing in common, they need shab and who better to shab all over them, than us.

The flight there was uneventful, but that chuba Rictor dropped us out of jump in the middle of a crinking dog fight. Sometimes I think that stoopa is trying to get us killed or worse arrested by the Imperials or as I call them ‘the sImps’.

Anyway, Flip yells from the bridge that we got a freighter with a couple of escorts heading at us with half the system’s fleet on its tail. Crink ’em I think, but then we get a call from the crinking sImps. They only want us to intercept the freighter or share its fate. We quickly formulate a plan to pretend to shoot the freighter, but let it get away. The escort though is fair game and what better way to start off a new endeavor than shooting down some DDR ships. Tally-Ho!

After geeking the X-Wing the vaping sImps want to board us for an inspection. Luckily the shebhole they send over is bent and 500 creds later we are on our way again. Proceeding to the planet we airdrop the DDRs gear to them like good boys and girls, then its on to the starport to make some creds on the legit cargo we’re also carrying.

Shira gave me name of a bent landing bay owner called Vory to see when we touched down, so we shifted the gear sharpish to these fellas; meanwhile Kirex and Ray follow up on a 50 grand bounty that would be a nice little earner if we can find it.

Rictor and his uncle go visit their respective families and both come up short of the homecoming that they were expecting. Rictor calls us up and whines that his old dear and old man are gone and it looks like someone slept in his bed and ate his porridge. When we arrive we deduce that the house was raided and scoured from top to bottom by what can only be the sImps. Flip’s beady little mincer’s spot a hidden cache that gives up a long range communicator. We decide it’s time to vacate the property in case the sImps show back up. As we’re leaving Rictor’s old gaff the team notice a girl that’s spying on us. Rictor recognizes her as his younger sister; Ray and Kirex take off after her while the rest jump into the hover taxi waiting for us. The girl leaps off the top of a 150 foot retaining wall; she catches hold of her drone and starts descending. Ray being Ray, grabs hold of some vines on the retaining wall an uses them to swing to the bottom of the wall. Kirex meanwhile fires up her jump pack; flying off the ledge she makes a beeline for the bird; grabbing the girl she heads downwards and delivers her to Ray at the foot of the wall. Our over zealous cabby takes a shortcut and drops the hovercab down the wall to join the others. I barely manage to keep my take out down.

We notice a ragtag group of kids come running from an abandoned warehouse armed with a mixture of improvised and homemade weapons. I order the cabby to run them over, but he decides to stop in front of them and he guns the motors creating a massive dust cloud that disorients the hell bent high schoolers.
I quickly calm down the situation just as an sImp shuttle delivers squaddies to Rictor’s old gaff. We decide that discretion is the better part of valor and scarper for the warehouses. Once at their “FOB”, the young’uns bring us up to speed with the happenings of the DDRs or mishappenings to be more accurate. It looks like there was a big blowup in the jungle that went badly for the DDRs and Rictor’s old dear got scooped up by the sImps. We also find out that his old man is working for the sImps in some capacity. His family puts the capital D in dysfunctional.

We left off with the saucepans being responsible for getting some intel on the whereabouts of Rictor’s old dear and we were going to work the angles on our end. Rictor stayed with the saucepans to make sure they stayed out of trouble.


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